Sometimes in order to go forward we need to stop and catch our breath along the way. The last (almost) 2 years of my life have been hard and utterly focused on one goal forsaking all other possible goals. I think you all know what that goal is, it’s been a re-occuring theme through this whole blogging thing…in fact the blog partly came about as a way to share the ‘news’ when it happened, which has not as yet ‘happened’. So we got to the end of our IVF story (part one), we got some answers that left me a little shocked to say the least. It appears that endometriosis is the very least of my issues. I have ‘depleted ovarian reserves’, basically my body re-productively speaking is a hell of a lot older than my 26 years. To be honest it found this kind of hilarious for about half a day, Dan even joked that it explained the knitting obsession…then it hit like a tonne of bricks. It’s not funny at all, in fact its devestating. But I picked myself back up off the floor and focused on our one frozen cycle trying not to let myself get too down when I was about to have treatment again and wanted to be in the best of health possible. I also set about applying for full-time jobs. The day of embryo transfer I got a call to say an interview that I had in a week was being moved forward to a couple days time. I got off the phone, put it back in my bag and it rang again, I knew what it was straight away…it was the nurse from repromed ringing to tell me that our little emby had not survived the thaw…so there I was on the bus to work, one minute on top of the world, next minute utterly crushed. I took the rest of the week off and went straight to Mum and Dad’s new house. My Grandpa met me when I was walking from the bus and I cried while he hugged me tight before heading over to Mum and Grandma at the house. Dan came and got me around lunch time and we headed home. I was starting to wonder if I could get through an interview in a couple days time! But I pushed on and went and bought a new shirt for the occasion. I had my interview and felt like I had been losing track with all my answers the whole way through! We had a follow-up appointment with our fertiltiy specialist the next morning so I turned my phone off, when we got out and I turned it back on it beeped straight away with a message to ring the HR person I had seen the day before…low and behold finally some good news…I have the job! So after 18 months of part-time/casual employment I am back to full time work as of Monday…the best bit…I am finally out of retail after 8 and a half years. So I have a new focus and we are taking a break from TTC/IVF. The pre-conception vitamins are burried in the back of the fridge and I am drinking the odd beer guilt free.
As for new goals? Well I am trying to get back down to my wedding weight, so far I have lost a little over a kilo in the first week…my actual goal, to be as healthy as possible before going through it all again…oh and to fit back into my ‘skinny’ jeans…last seen on our Honeymoon.
I did a lot of spinning through the horror week of finding a new answer and having our frozen cycle cancelled, in fact I finished my first usable kilogram of yarn! Its a little thick, somewhere between a 14 and 16 ply but I have found a pattern and will knit it up, at least it will be a qucik knit! Oh and I dyed it as well, it was a scrap bag from bendigo and had several colours going on with a base of white. Now it all looks the same!
Oh and I spun this little beauty, well I am halfway there anyway. It’s a merino, alpaca and silk blend and I am thinking it may become this. It’s around a 5-6ply so a lot finer than my first kilo!
I’m also motoring through a shawl for me out of some of the Kaffe Fassett sock yarn by Regia. I was given the yarn for my Birthday by a knitterly friend and could not bring myself to hide it’s beauty inside my shoes! At the moment I am working on a 1 ply mohair lace edge which I think will look gorgeous!
Oh and an Aran cardie for me as well…again a Birthday gift…Anny Blatt…what great friends I have! I am going to alter the pattern a little so that it has reglan shaping as the dropped shoulder is not a good look on me.
I also finally finished the bamboo baby jacket, then gave it away before I got a picture! Don’t you hate that!
A month ago I made a sewing bag for a knitting friend who’s Birthday is a few days after mine, I was very happy with it and oneday will make another…but really don’t need it right now to be honest.
Oh and here is some other knitting Birthday gifts…a little late but here all the same…
Then today I pulled out some bits and pieces I had bought over the last few months to make new necklaces and stitch markers with and finally made them! I love the pendant on the gold necklace…but have not really got anything to wear it with…impulse purchase! As for the black, if you know me you know that chunky black beads never go astray…
Your hand-spun yarns are gorgeous! I can’t wait to see what you knit with them.
I am so sorry to hear about your news… Every time I check in here I hope to read that your dreams are coming true so was very sad to read this post. Good to hear you’re keeping your chin up though and at least you have your knitting to take your mind off things. The shawl is gorgeous (wish I had your patience!). Enjoy the break and just relax for a bit. I’m sure it’s been a long hard road for the both of you. Still wishing for a miracle for you – you so deserve to be a Mum! Hugs!!!
I’m so sorry to hear about having to stop the journey for a while….its not fair and I’ll keep you in my prayers that your time to be a mummy is coming soon. I’ll work on the meme and post it tmrw!
Corrie:)